Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Mommy Guilt

So recently I have been seeing SO many Facebook posts
and other blogs talking about
Mommy Guilt.

I will confess, 
I have this too

It's hard to talk about
Everyone's situation is so different from another
So the things I may rant and rave about
could be the exact opposite of what someone else is experiencing

for the most part
I feel like all mommies (and quite possibly daddies too)
have some form of this guilt

First off,
I think humans are built in with this ability to want and need to provide for those that depend on us
whether that may be your small child/teen/young adult or an elder in your family

That being said...
it's really difficult to feel SATISFIED

What I mean by that
is it's hard to feel like
we have done
possible to make our child (etc.)
completely happy,
feel loved,
be well nourished,
learned new lessons,
got to do something exciting...

the list is endless

on top of all that
feel the exact same way

I know I am
"that Mom"
that typically comes home from work
throws on my pj's or sweats
cooks dinner (or ate least had the crock pot do work for me!)
eats/serves kiddo and husband
attempts to take a walk/stroll kiddo and dog
fails miserably
stays inside instead
plopped on the couch
with no energy
and wishes kiddo would fulfill herself
with all the toys/books/etc laying around
instead of pulling my finger/hand
and prodding me to get up
and follow her
ALL over the house
until she finally ramps up her energy
and then crashes around 8pm
at which point
I prep for the next day
and climb into bed

I really have no idea how some mommies do it all
I have one little girl
and I feel like my evenings and weekends are full of keeping this one sweet girl super happy
which can be very....

There are days when my daughter is content and happy from the time we pick her up from daycare
There are days when she cries the whole way home (we tried as many things as possible to cheer her)
There are days when my heart melts at how sweet and cuddly she is
and other days where I want to throw a mommy temper tantrum, kicking and screaming while pulling my hair out

There are days when my daughter gets a pretty well balanced meal
and others where she eats a can of puffs or chips
because that is ALL she will eat

I will say I do wish
that I...
had more energy
ate healthier meals
prepped healthier meals for my family
spent more time playing on the floor (or wherever K wants to play)
had more time with my husband
could leave the house at any given time (with or without my husband)
 could make sure my daughter was happy all the time
stressed less
worked out more
found more hours in the day (or even minutes) for just "me" time
wore "cooler" clothes and didn't feel so frumpy in sweats/pj's all the time
would pick up something healthy to snack on instead of ice cream or choc. chips
had more time to read good books
watched less "trash" tv
kept the house more well maintained
had time to get in my flower beds and weed/mulch
had time for a garden again

The reality check to this whole "I wish" situation...
I am NOT a super mom
I was never born a superhuman
So most of this cannot be

I am happy and totally in love
with my husband,
our daughter
and our dog
We do wonderful things together
have created some of my fondest memories

So don't get me wrong
I do love my family
but there are definite moments of guilt
that I do feel badly about
and I am being open and honest
in the hopes that if some other person
reads my blog and feels similar
they, too, can feel some comfort
in knowing they are not alone

So, if I come home and put on my pj's and flop on the couch,
tell my husband to go get fast food,
and hope my daughter plays well on her own for the evening
 instead of
going for a run,
preparing the healthiest meal for my family,
having a super fun activity planned for my daughter,
and meditating/reading before bed time...

I'm cool with that...

let's rephrase that to

I am learning to be cool with that!

Below are a couple of the mommy guilt posts I read...pretty sure both made me cry and realize,
I'm not the only one!

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